Last Tuesday evening I was sitting at home doing one of my many things that I do on my computer. Ann's cell phone rang, she answered it, spoke for a while and then unexpectedly handed it to me. For me? A cell phone call for me? A cell phone call for me on Ann's phone? It's either a prank call, a son or daughter or God calling. It was God! Well, not really God directly, but rather God was using a friend to get to me.
The voice on the other end of the call was asking me to spend the next four evenings plus Sunday afternoon as "Follow Spot 2". For as often as I say "no" to folks, it's almost impossible to provide a negative response to a request such as this. So off I went.
On the surface this may seem to be a tale of me doing a good deed, helping a friend in need. God had a much deeper plan for the event. On the first rehersal we started at the top of Act Two. I was struggling with following the cue sheet and finding my actor on stage when I realized that Noah was singing a song to which I needed to listen. I made a mental note to look it up to see what it was exactly but like with most of my "mental sticky notes" it fell from the monitor of my mind and was lost.
Dress rehersal was Thursday night. I found this night to be challenging also because there were some cue changes, everyone on stage was no dressed differently, thus they were in disguise to the second night spot guy, and not everyone stood at the same spot on stage as the had the night before. On purpose or not doesn't matter to the follow spot, you can't illuminate what you can't find. I did remember to try and listen to Noah's song but was confused because the previous night Act Two was first and Act One was second. This night Act One was first and Act two was second. Overload on the synapse channels. I made another mental note to look it up to see what it was exactly all about.
Opening night things slowed down. Things seem more cohesive. Either they were or my familiarity with the show made them appear as such. As Act Two started the Holy Spirit got my attention and had me ready and primed for what I was supposed to hear. Noah started his song on the hardest part of love. It was the tune and the chorus that got my attention. The chorus spoke of not being able to close an acorn once the oak begins to grow. That gave me a really neat mental picture. After I got home I realized that this song wasn't only about Noah's relationship with his sons, it was also about the relationship between God and Noah.
Saturday night was dynomite. There was a really good, responsive audience, technical issues were minimized and the performers were at the top of their game. As Noah began his song this night God opened a book of understanding to me. The song tonight was about more than Noah and his sons. It was about more than God's relationship with Noah. It was about my relationship with my own children and about my relationship with God.
I have always said the toughest part about being a parent is to allow your children to fail. You do not set them up for failure but when you see them on a course to failure and they reject you as you try to save them from that eventuality, it's hard to step aside and let them fail. Noah's song addressed that issue head on from the position of 'letting go'. All the heartache, rejection, and pain felt as a father when this happens weighs heavily upon one's heart. That is what Noah felt, that is what I have felt. But God joins the song as a duet with Noah and suddenly I knew that He knows that same feeling.
As a loving father God has given me the free will to do as I please. He's also given me the guide book to read and follow so I know what is the chosen path. Both He and I know that I don't always choose the right path. However, He let's me go. I know this weighs heavily upon His heart and I know He knows how I feel when this happens to me as a father because He took on flesh and lived in my world, walked in my shoes so He would know that I know.
They Holy Spirit wasn't only working on me through this song as after the final curtain several other men made comments, validating comments, that they had a similar experience with the song. God took a play where some men took liberty with Biblical stories and used it to touch His own to let them know, to remind them that He is still there and that He still understands. Sure am glad I got that call and helped a friend out. - DD
THE HARDEST PART of LOVE
Noah -
Oh father please don't make me choose Either way it's more than I can bear to lose Oh this son of mine I love so well And all the toil it takes I'd give to him a garden and keep clear of snakes But the one thing he most treasures is to make his own mistakes ohhh He goes charging on the cliffs of life A reckless mountaineer I could help him not to stumble I could warn him what to fear I could shout until I'm breathless And he'd still refuse to hear ohhh
But you cannot close the acorn Once the oak begins to grow And you cannot close your heart To what it fears and needs to know That the hardest part of love Is the letting go
As a child I found a sparrow Who had fallen form the nest And I nursed him back to health till he was stronger than the rest But when I tried to hold it It would peck and scratch my chest Till I let it go And I watched it fly away from me With it's brightened self resolve And part of me was cursing I had helped it grow so strong And I feared it might go hungery and I feared it might go wrong ohhh
But I could not close the acorn Once the oak began to grow And I cannot close my heart To what it fears and needs to know That the hardest part of love
FATHER
Is the letting go
NOAH
Is the letting go
FATHER
And it's only in Eden grows a rose without a thorn And your children start to leave you On the day that they were born They will leave you there to cheer for them They will leave you there to mourn ever so Like an ark on uncharted seas their lives will be tossed And the deeper is your love for them The crueler is the cost And just when they start to find themselves Is when you fear they're lost ohhh
NOAH and FATHER
But you cannot close the acorn Once the oak begins to grow And you cannot close your heart To what it fears and needs to know
NOAH
That the hardest part of love
FATHER
And the rarest part of love
NOAH and FATHER
And the truest is part of love Is the letting go
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