Dan You Have Cancer - Hearing God's Voice

Now, that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem.  They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

“What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

I had a second scan on April the 5^th. The results presented to me on April 8th were of a mixed bag, some things improved. Some findings remained the same. Several other things were presented as worse than before. Fight on! Every day I fight!

Each morning as I wake I thank God for giving me another day and ask Him to watch over and bless all that I do that day. On the morning of April 11^th  as I tried to regain consciousness from a fitful night of sleep and as I was ending my morning prayer I heard, I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, “Dan your cancer is gone. You are healed.”  I had heard this voice before so I knew who it was. Like Samuel, who ministered for the Lord under Eli, I lay back down and said, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” Again I received the same message, “Dan your cancer is gone. You are healed.”  I believed.

So Dan you are saying God speaks to you? Come on now, who do you think you are fooling?

I have come to know that there are two ways to test if the voice I hear is God’s. The first is explained in the opening scripture of this blog. When I hear the voice of God my heart burns within my chest. The second is explained in Samuel Chapter 3 where young Samuel is awakened by God’s voice calling him. Samuel hears the voice thrice and each time he puts it out of his mind when he goes to Eli to see what he wants. Eli realizes what is happening and he instructs Samuel how to respond because Eli realizes it is God calling. When I hear God’s voice I am unable to push it away until I answer. If I try to move on from the voice and can’t I know the voice is God’s.

The message He gave me that morning was daunting. I had just received, on April 9^th,  the mixed result of a scan that was the direct opposite of what God just told me. God was asking me to believe Him. I needed to put aside what modern medicine was telling me and believe what God said. So, I did. The positive attitude I had towards my cancer became even more so because I knew now that I was healed.

The next scan I had in July proved that God’s word was truth. The expression on my doctor’s face as he tried to explain my situation was priceless. I had insider information and even though I was elated with the scan’s results I was not surprised nor did I have to search for an answer as to why. My nurses were ecstatic, I was humbled.

This healing, these circumstances are not solely because I prayed or because I am deserving or I am righteous or any of that. I believe healings like this happen because people pray. I have had so many people far and wide praying for me my knees weaken when I consider the enormity of that fact. I know of prayer warriors that have prayed novenas for my healing. One good friend visited the Holy city of Jerusalem and while there prayed for me at the Temple’s Western Wall, whereas custom dictates, he slipped my name on a piece of paper between the walls cracks. I find all this to be overwhelming at times. Others remember each time I go for a therapy treatment with a card of encouragement. Text messages and phone calls of support are priceless. I am very grateful for these sacrifices and consider them worth more than silver or gold. Thank you!

My prayer is that all who share in this blog will also feel the burning of your heart by the voice of God no matter what your situation may be.

Every day, I fight!

Dan You Have Cancer - The End of Chemo

February 26^th was the halfway point for my chemo treatments, number three of six. Treatment seems like such a misplaced word. I normally equate treats with good things, like donuts on Sunday morning, an ice pop when I finish mowing the lawn, a tall, cold, glass of iced-tea on a hot summers afternoon or Ann greeting me with a smile and a “Here I am” whenever she comes home. Pushing poison into my veins does not equal a treat. But wait a minute. I said it before and I’m going to repeat it, if it takes multiple chemo treatments to make me better and add days to my life then ding-dong, trick-or-treat.

The difference in this particular go round of treatments is that I will receive my first dose of Teqcentric the immunotherapy drug. My doctor explained and then my nurses read me a list of possible reactions to Teqcentric. Pretty scary stuff. The last thing on every one of these lists is “..and death”. The irony I find here is that the very thing I am counting on to fight my cancer, which will kill me if it goes unchecked, may also kill me. I think I’ll stick to the Rocky Balboa stuff and keep punching no matter how bruised and swollen I become. Splash me with water, run a styptic pencil across my cuts, spin me around and push me back into the fray.

Twelve hours after first receiving Teqcentric, I awoke in my bed wishing that I was dead or soon would be. As previously document in this blog I could never say what my pain level was because I had never experienced a pain I couldn’t control or work my way through. This night, February 27^th 2019, the raging battle between good and evil; the warfare between dug and cancer; the refining fire needed for deeper healing was unleashed in full force within my body. I felt as if I was on fire. All my bones hurt! All my joints were a flame! I could not lay I could not sit. I could not stand. If I would have died in that moment I would have been grateful for the relief. How I got through it I cannot remember. I do remember calling out to Jesus to save me, to take the pain away. When I woke to a new day I felt much better but still ached all over. The aches would last for days. I read over the list of what Teqcentric could do to you. This wasn’t on the list. When I told my doctor and nurses the next day they were amazed. They had only ever heard of one other cancer patient that experienced the same reaction. I said congratulations, now you know of two.

Some positives did come from this reaction. I know what a pain level of 10 is. It’s the pain level that precedes passing out or in extreme cases dying. I had a new found appreciation for the vast amount of cancer within me. I hurt, I burnt all over. Not just in one or two places but from head to toe from hip to hip and down both arms. My doctor was correct when he said this was serious. I also looked at Teqcentric differently. The pain and the burning came from the drug attacking my cancer on all fronts at the same time. There was a war raging inside of me. I quickly developed a greater appreciation for those who are at the tip of the spear developing new treatment and cures for cancer. They are making a difference.

On the weeks that I had chemo and immune I spent about sixteen hours at the infusion center. Some call this ‘down time’ in that those hours are dedicated to being there for that purpose. I could do nothing else. I did read books and tried to do Ken-Ken, Sudoku and crosswords but these activities were always at odds with ‘chemobrain’, a condition where I would find it very difficult to stay focused for more than a minute or two. Music and podcasts were another activity that I tried but they were often interrupted by sleep. Ann spent many hours sitting with me, taking care of me and just loving me with all she had. I truly appreciated those who would come to pick me up on Wednesdays and Thursdays when Ann worked. They would arrive early, sitting with me for an hour or so before the last drip dropped prior to the final flush administered by the nurses. A quick ride home was provided, followed by assistance from the car to my chair. There were even times when friends would stop in during my downtime just to sit and talk. These moments, these sacrifices of time were greatly appreciated. I know that when I get a chance I want to return these same favors to others. Think about doing the same to someone you know. Don’t send flowers, stop in to say hello. Sending a card? Why not deliver the same message by lips. You need not stay long. Just your personal touch will mean so much. Ann and I have implemented this in our lives and the rewards of doing so are tremendous.

The routine of going every three weeks for chemo and immuno became another new normal for us. The end of chemo also brought several things with it that we did not anticipate. My oncologist had a face-to-face heart-to-heart with us prior to my last chemo session and scan. He explained that I, that we, could decide to continue with immunotherapy after our last chemo session or say enough is enough. We even had the right to stop the pending chemo session if we wanted. I took his words as words of caution but not quite surrender. It also was his way of letting us know that we were in control. We were the ones in the fight so we were in control. I chose, we chose, the fight!

The end of chemo also brought another scan. This would be the first scan since the initial one. We knew that good was happening because the tumor on my jaw was all but gone. Definitive results were yet to be measured. The second scan was a mixed bag, some good some not so good. Bone tumors were present and still active. Liver tumors had shrunk from 9 cm to 6 cm. Addition ribs reported in as ‘broken’. Multiple vertebra were now showing up on the scan as being fractured. Dr. Surapaneni asked me if I had fallen as my left clavicle was broken. I probably did this rolling over in bed which was no longer simple or pain free. In any event I believed more than ever I was in God’s hands. There will be more on that subject in my next blog. Right now we stayed the course.

The first time I had Teqcentric without the chemo drugs administered at the same time I had another unexpected reaction. As they were finishing up with my infusion I became really unsettled. I wanted to stand, I wanted sit. I needed to walk I needed to sit. I was going nuts. Then all of a sudden without warning I began to shake. I shook uncontrollably for over an hour. After taking Benadryl and several ‘anti’ this and ‘’anti’ that pills the shaking ceased and I went home. Not only was I shaken by the events of that day, Ann and my medical team were also shaken and “shakin”. As we reflect back on that day and the preceding four months we realized more than ever how much God was watching over us. The prayers of the faithful were working. The sacrifices of so many were felt and appreciated.  Thanks be to God!