Dan You Have Cancer: An Exclusive Club

An unexpected blessing of cancer is the exclusive club to which it grants you a life time membership. Being a guy who loves sports I always love to see the comradery placed on display between elected members of the baseball hall of fame, the pro football hall of fame, the regathering of any team that won a championship or current and passed recipients of the Heisman Trophy. All the aforementioned have a shared common experience. No one outside that circle can ever broach the perimeter in order to join. Membership is exclusive. It's a brotherhood. It's a sisterhood. It's special.

So why is being in the exclusive club of cancer patients so special? Why is it a blessing?

Membership in this club has given me the ability to do some things I would never have been able to do otherwise. Recently my pool physical therapist was asking me about my particular health situation. After hearing my story she commented that she found it had to believe that I showed up for each session with such a positive attitude. That opened the door for me to explain how I chose to deal with cancer. I told her if I showed up mad at the world with my chin scraping the ground, singing "Woe is Me", and acting like I didn't want to be there or living as far as that goes, I would pull her down with me. My bad day, bad life, bad attitude would have an affect on her as she was trying to increase my quality of life. She loses. I lose. Most of all it would effect how she deals with the next patient, probably lessening their experience, stealing their joy and possibly worsening their day. I have no desire to be part and party to any of that. So, I chose to approach each day, each activity, each meeting with others upbeat and positive. I need those around me to be positive. I need those around me to be smiling. I need those around me to be in the best spirit possible. For them and selfishly for me. 

The past several days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I had to skip my most recent infusion of immunotherapy because of bad liver functions. Downer. Then I got blood work results showed that I had a vastly improved A1C. Upper, this even prompted a congratulatory phone message from my family practitioner. Then Ann final got a chance to speak with a friend whose husband was diagnosed with cancer in March. Treatment was started but abruptly stopped. He was told there was nothing they could do for him, sent him home with about four weeks to live. He passed in four days. Downer. Then just last evening we were informed that another friend of ours had been diagnosed with kidney cancer that has metastasized. Double downer. This particular friend is part of the prayer warriors who have been lifting me up, taking my needs into the throne room of Heaven. The cancer club is not only growing, it is getting closer to home.

So where's "the special", where's "the blessing". I hope to be able to share my experiences with these friends to lighten their load. That will be special.  I want to let them know that they are not alone on their journey. I will let them know that Jesus will be there for them as He was, as He is for me. The blessing will be when I share the truth that God will hear their prays and the prayers offered by others. Blessings will continue when they realize that they are not alone. Others like myself are on the same path as they. The greatest blessing is that God loves them so much that He took on the form of a human to live in our world to better understand what we go through. God is listening. Pour your heart out to Him. Be still, be quiet and listen for His voice. By the way, one needn't have cancer to do those last several things. 

Jesus, thank you for the friends that have helped carry my burdens. Thank you for hearing their petitions and responding to them. Help me now be able to carry you love, your light to their lives. Bless them. Let them feel your presence in unmistakable ways. Amen  - Dan

Dan You Have Cancer: A Glimpse of Heaven

Being told that you have maybe several weeks to live is akin to that cold bucket of water thrown in your face. Being told that it really could be several month doesn't make the water less cold or much more tolerable. The assurance by a medical professional that if treatment commences immediately that you could live another year was about as comforting as it got in January of 2019. Not too bright a future for a guy who still had plenty to live for. 

Turning the affair over to Jesus was the best action Ann and I could take. Being found under the umbrella of the prayer of the church's faithful was an unexpected peace filled experience. Never under estimate the power of the prayers of the faithful brothers and sisters in Christ. Never under estimate the prayers you offer for others. They are very powerful.

One of the many blessing I received through having stage-four lung cancer has been my ability to sit quietly and listen to God. Just sit quietly and listen to His voice through His Word, from His physical creation, via the lyrics of contemporary Christian music, through the encouraging words of others and on and on. He does not limit himself to any one manner. For me, He is found any where and every where.

I have long loved Biblical prophesies and the study of the end times. Maybe my interest in this has been rekindled by the fact that not only do I have a ticket for the Train to Glory but I'm in the boarding line at the station. In any event, after finishing a book on this subject in which Heaven was discussed I was thinking about life beyond time.

Our garden has been producing a bountiful harvest for us this summer. For the past several weeks I spend hours each day, usually with Ann, sitting at our picnic table on our carport cutting peaches, plums or tomatoes for processing. I have always said that if God has a garden in Heaven, I hope I'm able to work in it. While I cut and skin and pit and dice the various fruits I listen to the Rich Mullins channel on Pandora. This channel produces a constant stream of contemporary Christian music and praise.

I have come to realize that God has given me a glimpse of Heaven on my carport. I'm working doing something that I love while listening and participating in the praise offered to the Creator of the Universe. What a blessing! A blessing that I may have missed if I hadn't been blessed by cancer and had been drawn closer to the One whose name is greater than cancer, Jesus!

Dan You Have Cancer: Why Me?

Over the past several weeks my life has intersected with the lives of friends, past and present, as they have come face to face with the trials and tribulations that you always pray to miss in your life. A friend with Alzheimer’s got out on a winter’s night and wandered around in sub-freezing temperatures with nothing more than a lightweight jacket and a blanket of prayers. A young twenty-something man after spending time with a friend, inexplicably went home and took his  life. A friend of ours was in the hospital and diagnosed with cancer at the same time last year that I was. Due to circumstances and other health issues at the time did not live long enough to begin cancer treatment. Ten months later his widow passed after experiencing a fatal heart attack leaving an only child to pick up the pieces of her life. Several other friends and associates have listened as a man of medicine explained to them, “You have cancer.”

I am sure that everyone connected to any of these storms has at some point thought, wondered or asked, “Why?”

I have said before and as I think back now on that dreary, rainy, cold Friday afternoon when my cancer was confirmed, I simply refused to accept the worst, being determined to find the best in all situations. I decided to praise God, not only for my life but for all that came with it. If cancer was to be part of that then thank you God for cancer. If it takes cancer to bring me closer to you then every day with cancer, every chemo treatment, every ache and every pain is worth it. I know and better understand now that long before April of 1953 God knew that I would be and that cancer would be part of my journey.

I always had praying parents. I was always in the prayers of my parents. As a teen I was born again into God’s family. I always tried to stay within God’s will. Because of these facts, I believe that anything that happens to me is in God’s plan for me and I should praise God for it. I recently told Ann that I am glad I got cancer after our parents were called home. The anguish they would have felt for my disease would have been very difficult to deal with. Even knowing and understanding that God is in control, a parent never wants to see their child suffer or hurt in any aspect of their lives.

They all play a part but the victories I am experiencing are not coming because of modern medicine, doctors or nurses. My victories are coming as a direct result of prayers. Prayers from family. Prayers of friends. Prayers of strangers. I have been the beneficiary of them all. I have felt the effect of each and every one of them in my life. This is where victory is achieved. This is where battles are won, on the knees and in the prayers of the faithful.

When storms come to your life, what do you do? Rage against them in defiance? Yelling in your spirit, “Why me!” Withdraw from life in denial and depression hoping that the storm will abate and disappear? What I have come to know is that God doesn’t cause my hard times. He does allow the storms of suffering to increase and intensify to build a stronger relationship between us, to cause me to fall deeper in love with Him, to grow my faith in Him, to be more consistent in my walk with Him, to bear more fruit in my service to Him, to keep my focus on Him and to live for His glory alone. He is not punishing me for something I did or didn’t do.

God provides the graces I need to glorify Him in all I do. He uses me and my life condition to be a witness for Him. He uses me to allow others to see Him through me. God uses me and cancer to draw others closer to Him. Whether it is accomplished by changing their thoughts about God or by drawing them to Him via a deeper more meaningful, sacrificial prayer life, His purposes are accomplished.

Read the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Before commencing, ask God to open your eyes, your heart and your spirit to His words. Their story shows me that the experience of this family from Bethany highlights the truth that God’s picture for my life is so much bigger than my own.

When I don’t understand, “Why”, I have learned to trust Him because God can lift me up to soar above the storms in my life.

So, "Why me?" So God can use me like He does the Moon. I never thought I'd want to be a moon.

Every day, I fight!

Dan You Have Cancer: Rush Limbaugh, 911: Lone Star, and many others

I was sitting in the parking lot at McDonald's on an overcast, yet warm Monday afternoon in early February, waiting for Ann who had gone in to get me a $.99 iced-coffee. Turning on the radio I heard, “I’ll play it as he announced it.” I never know what to expect in situations such as this. Then after a pregnant pause, Rush Limbaugh’s voice begins telling his story and sharing some details about his most recent cancer diagnosis.

Having gone through this and while still being in the middle of a lifelong fight of the same, I find that I have become very emotional over people in these circumstances. From people I share time with during therapy, to characters in movies, to Rob Lowe’s character in “911: Lone Star”, I find that my spirit is deeply affected by people fighting cancer. I feel a kindred spirit with Alex Trebek. The cancers may be different but the journey takes the same path. And now Rush Limbaugh has the same cancer as I do. Stage 4 lung cancer.  I am fourteen months into my journey. He is just beginning. As Ann and I listened to Rush’s announcement I commented that we certainly understand what is in store for him. Medically, physically and spiritually. He has embraced many of the things that I have found I could not live without.

I needed a fighting spirit. I needed to create a positive area around me to keep everyone else positive. I needed prayer warriors to lift me up praying for all my needs. I needed to develop a closer relationship with God in Heaver and His son Jesus.

Hearing what Rush said crushed my spirit. I was deeply saddened. Not because of who was speaking but because anyone had to say those words, make that announcement. Thinking of all of the day’s events while showering last night, God reminded me of something I already knew, understood but had pushed to the corner of my mind. The same way I ached in my spirit for Rush Limbaugh and knowing what his future holds, God feels for all of us. He knows how I feel. He knows how we feel. He knows how Rush feels. How? He sent His son, Jesus, from the splendor of Heaven to the filth of Earth to take on the form of a human. Through this He is able to know exactly what His creation goes through when faced with life circumstance such as cancer. I think that my belief that cancer has been more of a blessing than a curse is rooted in this. Thank you Jesus for loving me.

Bless Rush Limbaugh and all those fighting cancer this day. Let them feel your presence in all they do. Guide their medical teams to bring forth healing that’s needed.  Give them peace, Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding.  Amen.