Before I continue with the day-to-day story of my
dance with cancer, I am going to take several blogs to speak about something that I
always knew was important in life but have been reintroduced to the importance
of it by the curse of cancer.
PRAYER.
Prayer is at a minimum two party endeavor, just me
and the Holy Trinity. It can also be intimate with three. There is the person
praying. There is the person for which the prayer is being offered. Then there
is God to whom the prayer is directed. I will look at the two party prayer
connection first.
When first being told that you have cancer and your
days may be numbered shorter than the current year’s calendar, it makes you
think. As I stated before I was not fearful of dying. I did find myself in deep
anguish over how to proceed as I knew how I lived the remaining days would affect
the days of so many around me. I honestly did not know what to pray for when it
came to my situation. Where do I start? I am not one to bargain with God. I
cannot pull Him down to my level nor would I ever elevate myself to His level
in a quid pro quo situation. I have read the end of the Bible and know what
happens to ones who want to be God or be like God. I needed help. Help in what
to do, help in assuaging friends and family of their fears. My prayer became
very, very simple. Each night when I got in my recliner for the night, after
the lights, were extinguished, after I was loving tucked in my blankets by Ann
my prayer became, “Help me Jesus” over and over. This prayer was followed by “Jesus,
help me” over and over. After that I began to pray the same prayer offered by
the six-winged lion, ox, man and eagle that are covered with eyes that surround
the throne of God in Heaven. These creatures as described by John in his
writings from the Island of Patmos in the book of Revelations, pray constantly,
“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God almighty, who was and is and is to come.” (Isaiah
6:3, Revelations 4:8). I followed this with the prayer from Revelations 4:11, “You
are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all
things, and by Your will they exist and were created.” So simple yet it was
through these prayers that I found the peace of God. I made myself totally
dependent upon Him, surrendering all to Him while at the same time declaring
His kingship, His sovereignty, His power in all things. I unwittingly claimed
Psalms 46:10 as my own. “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among
the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
These nighttime prayers
led me to the quiet times I found myself in each workday morning from January
to June. After Ann and Seth departed for work I was left in our house by
myself. I would start my morning off by listening to music perform by Christian
artists. I know the Bible is God’s holy Word but he is using the Christian song
writer to reach people where the Bible isn’t. He spoke to me time and time
again through the lyrics penned years before by men and women being obedient to
His call. They were planting seeds that were to be harvested years later by
someone, in this case me, who needed to hear them for whatever their
circumstance. Isaiah states in Chapter 55 verse 11 that: “my
word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will
accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
This is so true, I can attest to that.
Be still and know He is God. It was through this stillness, this waiting
that God drew me closer to Him than I ever thought possible. I found comfort in
the lap of Jesus. I felt His presence. I smelled the scent of oils used to anoint
kings. I knew I had nothing to fear. The world told me to walk away, to put my
faith in doctors and medicine. Even though they are part of it, Jehova-Rapha is
“the One who heals”. For I will restore health to you and heal you of your
wounds (Jeremiah 30:17); God will
be gracious, the Lord binds up the bruises of His people and heals the stroke
of their wound (Isaiah 30:26); the Spirit of the Lord God is upon Jesus,
because the Lord has anointed Him to preach good tidings to the poor; sent Him
to heal the broken hearted; to proclaim liberty to the captives; and open the prisons
to those who are bound (Isaiah 61:1); and God is the One who forgives all your
iniquities and heals all your diseases (Psalms 103:3).
It was through my
simple prayer, through my surrendering of myself that God honored His promises
and began the healing process in me. It was through my relinquishing of will and
my acceptance of total dependency upon the Creator of the universe that healing,
physical and mental, began and flourished in my life. This all transpired
because of one-on-one prayer.
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