Dan, you have cancer: The Beginning

Stephen’s idea was to participate in a 5K while he was home from Florida during the Thanksgiving weekend. Since Ann and I had been walking faithfully all summer I felt that I was in good enough shape to include myself in the grand event. Several phone calls and emails later both Nathan and Seth were enlisted in the event also. We would be walking a Turkey Day event starting and ending on Harrisburg’s City Island on Thanksgiving morning.

We were greeted with 14^o temperatures that morning as we departed for the race’s starting line. Layers upon layers of clothes made us look like those poppin’ fresh biscuits that swell as they bake and can then have the layers striped away as you eat them. Stephen and Nate ran their 5K. Seth and I walked ours. My goal was to complete the course across the Susquehanna River to the East shore and back in something under an hour.  I attained that goal as my time was just over 54 minutes, good enough for a third place finish in my age group. A quick trip home followed by final meal preparations followed by the packing of the meal into the car followed by the trip to Nate and Jen’s where we were to consume the food of our gratefulness.

Before the turkey, mashed potatoes, baked corn and gravy had a chance to settle in and begin the digestive process, it was decided another walk around the neighborhood was in order. Off we went. Before we had added an addition mile of steps to our fit bits I felt the pain of a day of activity that seemed to stretch my boundaries a little too far.  By bedtime Thanksgiving night I was sore from one side of my ribs to the other. The night’s restless sleep did little to relieve the discomfort. If anything it was a little worse.

At the same time this was happening, I had been watching a bump form and grow on my right mandible. It started small. It gradually increased in size. It never caused any pain or discomfort. It was just there. I noticed it as I shaved. I felt it as I watched TV in the evenings. At first I thought that I had an infection in the glands found there. As it grew in shape and size I knew what it was. God was slowly preparing me for the inevitable show down that I had on December 28, 2018 with reality.

I did not always recognize it, but God does prepare us for the reception of bad news. This does just happen prior to “The Big Event” but gradually over a lifetime of experiences. When I handed in school work that I knew didn’t receive my best effort I had days or weeks to prepare for the ultimate bad news. When I saw events falling into place at my place of employment that would alter my future plans I had time to think and prepare different scenarios in how to react to the eventual outcome. When I saw my children doing things that were not in their best interests, I could see in many cases the end from the beginning. I was given time to prepare for the eventuality and to have a reaction plan I place. The same thing happened to me in regards to my “bump”. Somehow I knew it was cancer or at best not good. I was given two months to think, plan and pray for what was about to happen.

I shared my lump and subdued concern with Ann. She wanted me to go and have it checked out immediately. That didn’t happen as I put it off until after my colonoscopy of December 7^th. I received a glowing report from the doctor immediately after the colonoscopy. I believe the medical term he used to explain my situation was, “Clean as a whistle!” He in fact led me to believe that event though I should return for another exam in five years, a wait of a longer time would not be unreasonable. That report came on a Friday. The following Monday I called my family doctor to look at my lump. If it seems that I was on a linear approach to health care, I was. My family doctor was unable to see me quickly so I was passed off to a new-to-the-practice doctor the following week. If you can imagine Harpo Marx as someone born and raised in India, with hair that melted from fire red on top to orange to yellow around the nape of the neck,  with an ego the size of Texas, this is who I saw. At the time I was quite disturbed by the interaction with this medicine man however in retrospect I believe he was put there that day to jump start to action not only me but others in my healthcare chain.

When I pushed back at this doctor’s suggestion of actions, he got my regular family doctor involved. It was he that took control with a calming presence and a more patient friendly course of action. It was my family doctor that got me into see the otolaryngologist two days later.

While all this was going on my torso had become very, very pain filled. I hurt from side to side. I even expressed to Ann that I felt my shingles were returning. I had a difficult time lying down. Getting in and out of bed was next to impossible. I tried to relieve the pain by lying down on my stomach. While trying to get in bed face down I caused a terrible burning pain in my sternum. Now I hurt worse than ever. I believed that I had torn cartilage in my chest.  Sleeping in bed was now out of the question. From the end of November until February 13, I slept each night in a recliner. Not easy to do night after night and not very restful. I did prepare me for what was about to happen in early January when I’d begin intense chemotherapy. It was just all part of the process. It was all part of the “New Normal”. All part of God’s plan for me.